{{title-text: Part One}}

Jimothy: How much water do you need to survive?
Beard Guy: Well, for how long?

Jimothy: For the next six minutes!
Beard Guy: Gosh, I could probably get by just with the water I've got on me.

Jimothy: ARE YOU SURE?

Beard Guy: You are being ominous, but... 5 NINES.

Jimothy: HA HA HA OKAY!!

<<ZAM!>>

Beard Guy: NOOO I AM TRAPPED IN THE FIREY HOT SUN ARRRGH

Jimothy: That'll learn 'em.

Beard Guy: I could really use a glass of water.

 {{title-text: Part Two}}

Jimothy: My magical powers are beyond HUMAN COMPREHENSION! So stop being a damn poseur.
Beard Guy: Aww.

Beard Guy: I just thought you might like a, like, assistant.

Jimothy: Look -- if you're going to... even... I don't WANT an assistant. ESPECIALLY one that's so...
Beard Guy: Fancy?
Jimothy: Oh, that's NOT what I was going to say!

Beard Guy: I am not going to admit defeat! You wait here and I will return with a BETTER OUTFIT!

Jimothy: Balls to THAT.

[[Jimothy eats a sandwich on a park bench.]]

Beard Guy: OH MAN I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND YOU FOR DAYS! THERE YOU ARE! CHECK ME OUT!!
Jimothy: Oh CRAP.

Beard Guy: I'm like 500% less fancy! Catsuits are SUBTLE and SNEAKY! I can be your assistant and NO-ONE WILL NOTICE ME!
A Child: Waaaah! Mommy!
A Dog: GRRR