NAME REMOVED comics by Nick Wolfe

International Robots Day

This comic was originally published in the Electric Big-Bang Swing Machine. You can return to the list of old comics.

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Rabid: It's international robots day!!
Rabish: Oh my gosh! Did we get Rabot anything?

<< KA-BOO! >>
Rabid: !!

Rabid: THAT sounded like it came from the OLD MILL!

Rabid: Anyway, right, I found a nice sweater for him. It's made out of walrus tusks!

Rabish: Oh, that's good. Now he can exercise without overheating. Is it scrimshaw?
Rabid: Only in the most general sense of the word.

Rabish: Maybe I'll make him a nice pastry bat.
Rabid: "Stick" bat or "mammal" bat?

Rabish: That's for ME to have not decided on yet, and YOU to be told when I do!
Rabid: Oh, arrr! A feisty one to be sure!

[[ Oh, always with the "in" jokes ]]

Dr Quickly: An engaging tale of ADVENTURE and SWASHBUCKLING!

Dr Quickly: I'll have to GET to the BOTTOM of this!

Rabid: Dr. Q! You seem distraught! What's the hap, chap?
Dr Quickly: Several things! A grand opera of concerns!

Dr Quickly: Firstly -- is it not still International Robots Day?
Rabid: Aye, that it be! Arrrrr!!

Dr Quickly: Uh... HUH...

Rabid: ...

Dr Quickly: ... What were we talking about?
Rabid: Beats me!

Rabid: Ack! What's... what's GOING DOWN?!?!


<< POP! >>

Rabid: AAAAAAA!!!!!

Dr Quickly: Ha ha! Roly poly head!
Rabid: Ha ha!
<< KICK! >>

[[ Meanwhile... ]]
Rabish: What a lovely tea, Mr Bun!

Mr Bun: ...

Rabish: Hee hee!

<< POP! >>
Mr Bun: ...
Rabish: Hm?

<< WHUD! >>

Mr Bun: ...
Rabish: My... My TEA!!

Rabish: Ew! It's FLESH!!

Rabish: Hm... tastes like...

Rabish: RABID!! Oh NO!

Mr Bun: ...

[[ Yet still... ]]
Rabid: What a day!
Dr Quickly: A lot of exercise!

Rabid: My head hurts a bit, though...
Dr Quickly: At least you don't have a stomach ache!

Dr Quickly: Ha ha!

[[ That night... ]]
Rabid: Bedtime!!

Rabid: Oh, wait, I should check my messages first!

Dan: BEEEEEEP... Hello, Rabid? This is Dan, from work. I was wondering about the cream pies that you said I should cram into my face now was that a joke or do you really think that is the sort of think I shoul be doing with my time?

Dan: Anyway, what I was thinking [...]
Rabid: BORING!!!

Rabid: Man, I have been listening to these messages for an hour and a half!

Rabish: BEEEEEEP... Rabid? This is Rabish. Listen, this weird thing happened today... this big hunk of your flesh fell out of the sky onto my tea party!!

Rabish: The party was kind of boring but, hey, is everything okay? Call me. Yeah! ... *CLICK*

Rabid: I should call her back and let her know I'm ... mostly ... okay!!!

Rabid: Wait -- I can't call her! I ate the phone yesterday! ... Well, that and the no-limbs think, yeah. I'll go visit her and freak her out!

[[ Oh ho ho! ]]
Dr Quickly: How could that have happened?

Dr Quickly: I MUST get to the bottom of this!

Dr Quickly: Luckily I saved a sample of both his head and ... his ... body.

[[ Awwwww! ]]
Rabot: No-one remembered International Robots Day!!! Waaaah!

[[ Meanwhile... ...6000 years in the future! ]]

Captain Space Frog: Captain's log: I have with my crew entered the dreaded and mysterious OWL NEBULA...

Ensign Space Frog: Captian! We are receiving a distress beacon!
Captian Space Frog: Source on screen!!


Captain Space Frog: This is serious. We'd better go investigate.

Empath Space Frog: But... Captain... I sense that it could be a trap!

Warrior Space Frog: She's right, sir. We cannot risk the lives and safety of the crew! We cannot jeopardize our important space mission!

Robot Space Frog: Highly inappropriate. We are required by Starfrogfleet directives to respond to all distress beacons even if there is suspicion of false intent.

Captain Space Frog: ... You're right, Mister Frog. We have to go check it out.

Captain Space Frog: Set a course for the beacon, and let's go really really fast!
Ensign Space Frog: Aye aye, sir!

[[ Okay, so, earlier... ]]
Rabish: I'm hungry...

Rabish: I'll go out to eat! And drive to get there! Driving! What fun!

Rabish: I wonder why Rabid hasn't gotten back in touch... I sure hope he's okay! He probably ate his phone again, the goof.

Rabish: Wheee! Ha ha ha!

Rabid: I'm almost there, Rabish! Hang on!

Rabish: Ew, I think I just ran over a melon... A screaming melon!


Rabid: OH! Thank goodness it was all just a dream!

Rabid: AAAA! Lobster claw legs!


Rabid: OH! Thank goodness it was all just a dream!

Rabid: AAA! My back is full of worms!


Rabid: OH! Thank goodness it was all just a dream!

Rabid: AAAA! I'm actually a robot!


Rabid: OH! Thank goodness it was all just a dream!

Rabid: ...

Rabid: ...


Rabid: ...

Rabid: I'm awake now... I think...

Rabid: !!!

Rabid: Oh! Doctor Q! You gave me quite the fright!
Dr Quickly: Yes, well, it was very necessary.

Rabid: How is it that I am waking up here? I don't... I don't remember anything since my body got all big and then kaboom and heck that's all I've got in this head.

Dr Quickly: I had to create a new body for you out of marzipan!

Rabid: I don't seem to taste much like marzipan...
Dr Quickly: I... well, it's body marzipan.

Dr Quickly: Marzipan torso's a stopgap, chum.

Dr Quickly: A stopgap whose need is fading quickly, as I have made you a real body out of real parts with my magnificent tools... or what remains of them...

Dr Quickly: Oh my lovely lovely tools... I had mostly of my body-making devices enhoarded in the old mill... It blowed up!

Rabid: So that IS what we heard!
Dr Quickly: Most likely.

Rabot: Sigh...

Rabid: What's wrong, Rabot?
Rabot: Oh... nothing... just... yesterday was... nevermind.

Rabid: Goodness! In all the tumult I entirely forgot about International Robots Day!

Rabot: Everyone did...

[[ Exposition! ]]
Rabid: Well Rabish and I did forget fort he most part until yesterday morning and we got together and planned out some neat things: I've made you a walrus-tusk sweater and she's got some weird bakery plan up her sleeves and anyway then there was an explosion and I went to play with Dr Quickly and my body swelled up and exploded which is why I'm not made of marzipan and there's other stuff that happened too but I'm not too clear on it, it was dreamlike and unreliable.

Rabot: Walrus tusks, you say? Well heck! I don't feel so bad now!

[[ Last night, again... ]]
<< DING DONG ! >>

Rabish: Well now how is Rabid supposed to go to a restaurant with me if he isn't answering his door?

Rabish: I wonder where he is that he isn't ... I bet Doctor Quickly'll know! I'll go on over to his place, directly, in the car.

[[ Now what?! ]]
First Officer Space Frog: Captain! We seem to have entered an anomaly!

Robot Space Frog: It appears to be a distortion or a rift or whatever in the space-time continuum.

Empath Space Frog: I feel that it is headed right toward that crate of space babies!!

Warrior Space Frog: We must save them! We have no choice!

Captain Space Frog: Uhhhm... okay... Is there some sort of beam we can shoot at it?

<< Zorch! >>

Captain Space Frog: No!! It... It's pulling us in!

<< Neeooop! >>
<< Slurp! >>

[[ Earlier... kind of... ]]

Captain Space Frog: I... Wow! Okay... phew. Status report?

Robot Space Frog: We seem to have safely made it through the wormhole we inadvertantly created when we used the tachyon beam to reverse the polarization of the temporal anomaly in order to collapse its subspace waveform...

Captain Space Frog: ...

Robot Space Frog: Um, but so we seem to have travelled back in time several thousand years...

Robot Space Frog: ... And we are now falling uncontrolled to the surface of the planet beneath us.

<< KA BOO! >>

[[ In the wreckage... ...A lone survivor! ]]

Space Frog: SNUH!!


Rabid: Ew, I wet the bed!

Rabid: Wait! That's NOT URINE!


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